What is the deal with resolutions anyway?
I know. I know. It is super trendy right now to just shun the entire idea of New Year resolutions. Declaring to the Universe our lengthy wishlist is little like the adult version of a Christmas list to Santa Claus, right?
- I want to lose 30 pounds.
- I will get out of debt.
- I want to spend more time with family.
- I will find a new job.
- I want to [fill in the blank with your own awesome, overambitious, sometimes ambiguous goal]!
Some of us never get past the declaration stage, several of us muster up the gumption to get the ball rolling for a week or so, and a few of us even have such laser beam focus we stick to it religiously for three whole weeks… Yet most of us let those resolutions quietly fade into the background music eventually, because, well, LIFE. So, the questions becomes: why bother?
Because it is in our nature to be creative!
Whether we conform to conventional ideas about creativity or not, humans are hardwired to create, invent, find solutions, and explore. We sabotage ourselves though when we attempt to recreate something with a lofty resolution that assumes we were anything less than awesome to begin with. Beware the resolution that suggests you are not fantastic enough as you are already! Instead of recreating and redefining, how about aiming for something in the spirit of building yourself up – something that amplifies your strengths, no matter how hidden!
An old friend of mine, who was a personal trainer at a local gym, used to tell me that he always knew exactly which new clients in January would hit their fitness goals and which ones would never get there. He could see it just in the way they walked to the counter, before he even introduced himself. “People who already believe they are fit, will easily do a little bit every day until what is on the outside matches up with what is on the inside,” he told me. “And those who are convinced they are just [overweight/inflexibile/weak] can never make it past that hurdle of self doubt – even if they are often the ones who commit to doing the most extreme measures to try to hit their goals.”
Many parenting lectures and books point out that kids have an incredible way of becoming exactly who you tell them they are – so be careful what you tell them! Well, as it turns out, we are all just big kids. And you have a way of becoming exactly who you tell yourself you are – so be careful what you tell yourself!
Set a particular bhavana. This is a term borrowed from Bhuddism often seen in yoga circles, and it refers to the very intentional cultivation of something. It is about mindfully considering what inspires you. It is not reinventing the wheel, but rather nurturing that seed of inspiration and intention inherently ingrained in you. Think modern day vision boards that create a visual representation of that quiet little inspiration already in our hearts. And if we keep the bhavana at the forefront of our attention, we won’t get off track – even when life happens.
So, what inspires you?
My inspiration:
It is not about how much you do, but about how much love you put in the doing that matters.
Mother Teresa
Because we are creatures of habit!
If the bhavana is a little like the moral of the story or the underlying theme, next comes the sankalpa. This sanskrit term is often whirling around yoga circles at the start of a new year. It is a bit like New Year Resolution 2.0.
A sankalpa is a heartfelt, deeply driven resolve that manifests from our bhavana. Beware the false sankalpa that is just our ego imposing its good intentions, as in ‘I will stop eating carbs because my intention is to be healthy this year.’ A true sankalpa is always a simple, positive affirmation, more like ‘I will eat more vegetables because my bhavana is good health.’ The carbs may very well start to shrink as the veggies on the plate crowd them out, but the focus is on what you add rather than what you take away.
So, what will you add to your life?
My addition:
Do small things with great love every day.
Charles Duhigg writes about the idea of adding a keystone habit to your daily routine in The Power of Habit. Something as simple as a ten minute walk outside on your lunch break every day could be what starts the snowball rolling. Then, before you know it, you are running your first 5K.
Let that simple, positive affirmation become your daily mantra. For as the mind thinks, the belief follows. As we believe, so we speak. And as we speak, so we act. And as we act repeatedly, so we develop new habits. It is the habits that support our best selves that are the easiest ones to keep. Once you layer in good habits, the ‘bad habits’ have a way of fading into the background on their own.
Need something tangible to help cement your sankalpa into your life? Start a habit of journaling 10 minutes before bed every evening. Note what little ways you were able to include your sankalpa into your day and jot down any ideas for little ways to add it to tomorrow. As mantra is verbalizing an intention to anchor it in the mind, journaling is another mental trick that helps us kinesthetic learners anchor intentions in the mind.
Wait, so how is this better than a standard New Year resolution?
Well, for starters, it is not a practice that is tied to the calendar year. Start it today, and work with it always. No worries if you don’t have measurable results in 365 days. It is just as much about the journey as it is about the destination.
A resolution says…
I need to lose 30 pounds this year.
A bhavana + sankalpa says…
I value my health, and so I eat more veggies.
A resolution says…
I will get out of debt in six months through this 5 step plan.
A bhavana + sankalpa says…
I value minimizing stress, and so I am wise with my finances.
A resolution says…
I am going to master arm balances!
A bhavana + sankalpa says…
I value my yoga practice, and so I practice a little yoga every day.
Hold on! Where is the detailed outline of my strategy built for success!?! Well, before you get too wrapped up in envisioning the end game of your new, evolving self complete with check list to get there, how about some baby steps. This is, after all, about the journey.
Choose just one keystone habit you can easily add to your day that supports your bhavana and sankalpa. Commit to just that one thing and you may find that the rest unfolds creatively as you go.
So, what is inspiring you? What one small thing are you adding to your life?
Needing some encouragement along your journey? Join our online Facebook community. Take on the 10 Day Yoga Challenge. Or connect with me for a personalized therapeutic yoga practice designed just for you and your sankalpa.